


beginning

by hqunjins



Series: let me do better [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Best Friends, Bromance, Coming of Age, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Not Beta Read, Slice of Life, Teenagers, underlying feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:47:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29473470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hqunjins/pseuds/hqunjins
Summary: even if he was bad at it, hyunjin liked the word "beginning".or a compilation of hyunjin's beginnings.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Series: let me do better [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164881
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	beginning

even if he was bad at it, hyunjin liked the word "beginning".

new beginnings were what led him to meeting jisung. jisung crashed into hyunjin outside their school in their freshman year. the clumsy collision made them even later to class than they already were, but a funny story came out of it. hyunjin had just moved into their town, and jisung had very obnoxiously pointed out that he "probably has no friends because he doesn't recognise him". admittedly, hyunjin told him that there was absolutely no need for someone, much less a skater, to comment on his social skills, despite said skater being very much correct in his assumption. it had just stung a little. that's all.

later that day, the back of hyunjin's head was greeted with a not-so-friendly crumpled piece of paper. as he turned to look behind him and gage who the perpetrator was, he only saw the same skater from before school. with a scowl on his face, he picked up the paper ball and threw it back at him aggressively, extracting a little squeak from the dark haired boy. hyunjin definitely wasn't expecting to be hit on the head with the paper again, so out of sheer curiosity, he opened it tentatively. scribbled onto the torn page almost completely illegibly was "sorry" with a sad face beside it. from this, hyunjin concluded two things:

1) this could be a very poorly executed apology, considering how annoying the procedure was, and

2) it could be yet another way to provoke and irritate hyunjin for no reason.

needless to say, after jisung followed him after class and introduced himself to hyunjin, the two became the best of friends. but if anyone asked, hyunjin told them that he "spoke to the weird kid one time and now he's obsessed with him", followed by an exaggerated eye roll. all light-hearted, though.

of course, he loved his first and best friend. jisung made a strange place safe, and treated each new area as an adventure; as if they were exploring the boring town together. jisung taught hyunjin how to skate and hyunjin replicated his demonstrations with a 52% success rate, as he often came crashing down from his skateboard. but he made many memories he was fond of with the scrapes that stung his knees, particularly when the denim of his jeans brushed against the sensitive wound. jisung always had laughed before extending his hand to help hyunjin up, always there to support him and help him.

“if you were a flower, what kind would you be?” hyunjin asked jisung one night in the darkness of his own bedroom, holding jisung’s hand. he knew that jisung was afraid of the dark, and he promised to protect him. hyunjin made a mental note to order some sort of nightlight for himself and for jisung to have, just to make nights easier.

“maybe a rose? i don’t know. i like the way their petals are arranged.”

“if you’re a rose, then i can be your thorns. i’ll always be with you and making sure no one will hurt you.”

in sophomore year, hyunjin had his first kiss, and it was kind of gross. the girl was pretty and nice, but something was wrong about it. it was all wrong, and he couldn't figure out what it was. he had told jisung all about how strange it was and how there was a piece missing. he told him about how he didn't regret it but it still didn't feel right. jisung had just nodded, gazing up at the empty, black sky. hyunjin used to comment on how technically it looked more like a really really dark shade of blue, but jisung liked seeking warmth in a colour as dark as black, because when you find comfort in the absence of light, you can't be afraid of anything in the dark.

without looking at hyunjin, jisung quietly confessed that he hadn't had his first kiss. hyunjin told him it wasn't anything special.

that wasn't what jisung had wanted to hear. jisung knew that he wanted it to be special, but he kept that for himself.

hyunjin and jisung spent their lunches at school together, always racing each other to the cafeteria and keeping a record of who wins each day. sometimes they ended up bumping into each other in the halls, and hyunjin always joked that he could swear that jisung crashed into him on purpose the first time that they met. jisung always denied him with a shove, telling him that the push was definitely on purpose.

the pair never were big fans of attending parties, but they always went together. they enjoyed the games and the atmosphere and they never left each other's sides. hyunjin always teased jisung about the number of girls who approached him, but jisung was polite but dismissive. he wasn't interested. not in them, anyways.

the first time hyunjin got a F in a class, jisung had laughed and called hyunjin overdramatic when he had called him on the phone, crying. jisung then took a more sympathetic approach, telling him how it was not the end of the world. it was a stupid class anyway, and he knew hyunjin would be able to recover from it. jisung always knew what to say to him.

how ungrateful hyunjin was.

the summer before junior year, he got into a fight with his parents. the truth was, he spent more time staying out late doing who knows what with jisung than studying, and saying that his parents were unhappy was an understatement. they told him everything he never wanted to hear, and while they yelled all he could think about was jisung's reassuring smile and how soon he could see him on the roof of his house and they could talk without boundaries. but as more angry words were fired into the air about how nothing will ever be as important as his education, his frustration was redirected. he could feel his emotions reverse and begin flowing the opposite way, changing course. he became frustrated at himself. they kept telling him how foolish and immature he was, how his priorities were never set right and how his careless attitude was also going to hold jisung back, too.

how could hyunjin have been so selfish?

that was the question he mulled over in his head that night, tossing and turning in his white linen sheets that seemed to have grown spikes like nettles, poisoning him the more he moved and stayed within the comfort and security of them. nothing felt safe like jisung did.

that night, his own bedroom felt foreign to him as the plague that was his thoughts made the room he resided in its habitat.

hyunjin had no right to be upset about something that was his fault, they told him. this was simply his own undoing. he needed to grow up and take things seriously. college was approaching and time was a sick, sick monster. there was no time for hyunjin. he couldn't keep making jisung fall behind with him.

jisung fought against the plague that had made its latest victim out of hyunjin. hyunjin told him how he felt that he was immature and selfish for keeping jisung out so late at night, for tainting jisung's academics. jisung had laughed in the way jisung always did, telling him that he didn't care about school. hyunjin then told him about the fight. all about it.

the plague burned his brain, and he could almost hear its giggles as he watched jisung's face twist in thought.

hyunjin cried in jisung's arms a few minutes later. but it was okay. because jisung was patient and jisung was calm. jisung was all of the virtues of where hyunjin was sin. because if hyunjin's mind was akin to a plague or disease, jisung was the remedy.

hyunjin wanted to grow up and jisung told him that it was okay to want that. jisung stayed away when hyunjin spent his lunch break in the library studying for his tests, only sending a text to make sure he had had something to eat.

they had stopped racing to the cafeteria.

when hyunjin had first noticed, he almost snorted at how ridiculous it sounded. it seemed so small and insignificant, yet it held so much meaning to him. the time he spent with jisung was the most precious.

with the extra time he spent studying, he managed to achieve consistently good grades. he felt good about himself, and seeing his work pay off gave him a confidence boost that he didn't know he needed. but much like his first kiss, something was missing.

and it almost took hyunjin a year to realise what it was.

senior year was not how little freshmen hyunjin and jisung imagined it.

hyunjin was beginning to realise how temporary the initial satisfaction that sprouted from his good academic results was, and he realised that he didn't want to spend his senior year like he spent his junior year.

he wanted to spend it with jisung.

it was so incredibly hard for hyunjin to take responsibility and act like an adult, and he had discovered that he was too young. his happiness shouldn't be a price to pay in order to please others. and jisung was always so happy with him.

so when he went to a convenience store at an unspeakable time to buy some instant noodles and drinks with a sugar content which was significantly above the recommended intake with jisung, he realised what had been missing for the past two years.

they played their cards for four years, falling victims to chance. but fate was generous with them.

even if he was bad at it, hyunjin liked the word "beginning".

**Author's Note:**

> hiii thanks for reading!! of course feel free to let me know what you though and/or leave constructive criticism! im always trying to improve my writing and pls forgive any typos :D


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